CURRENT LOCATION STATUS: NEW YORK - UNSTABLE - NEED TO MOVE QUICK
CURRENT PHYSICAL HEALTH STATUS: GOOD - DETERIORATING
CURRENT MENTAL HEALTH STATUS:EXCELLENT - IMPROVEMENT
CURRENT GOAL STATUS:GOOD - WORSENED
What rhymes with shoes and often gives you the blues? Thats right, its time for the news.
Slap my leg and call me a tallywapper, I almost messed up bad.
Here I am strolling through a park like the KKK in the hood (Okay thats a bad joke i'm sorry) in New York, minding my own business, when I start to feel a tingle throughout my body, similiar to when a limb falls asleep due to blood vessels being constricted. It escalated as I continue to walk to the point where it feels like i'm being jabbed by a knife in my head. I stumbled to the nearest tree and put my back up against it, I thought if I ceased moving and rested for a moment it would go away. My lungs feel as if they are shrinking and my mouth is dry. As a child I had semi-frequent bouts of heat exhaustion similar to this (Only, that was because I overworked myself and was severely underweight.) A young man approaches me, sees my weak state and asks me if I am okay. I try to tell him that I simply overworked myself but it came out as "Barlgofendurryopfep."
He let me have a sip of his water bottle and my god it was heavenly, it was like as if it rained on the desert in my body. I thanked the man and started to close my eyes. My body had calmed down and the pain faded as I drifted into unconsciousness. I am in my home, holding a picture frame, looking at my family picture. Tears begin to well up in my eyes at the sight. The picture starts to distort and change, everyone's faces seem to erase themselves, the picture gradually loses its light and was corrupted. I dropped it in fear and started to run. "Is that all you can do is Run? Where are you running to?" I heard a voice say in my head, it reminded me of someone, but sick and twisted. I open the door to the outside world only to see a vast expanse of nothingness. "Are you happy? Do you really think your life is more valuable than others?" The voice asked, this time it was... Distorted to a sort, it sounded artificial. The floor beneath me dissipated and I fell. My mind stopped working, it was too full of confusion to do anything at the moment, much less decipher the situation. My fall slowed itself until I began to float.
It felt oddly peaceful here. It felt like I was having lapses of unconsciousness here as well as I remember closing my eyes and opening them to see new things that weren't there before. I see... A hand. A ghostly hand before me. It leaves a trail of dread and fear as it moved closer to my head. It makes a "Picking" gesture and passes through my skull, yanks back something indescribable and I reel in pain before it snaps off the part connected to me. I open my eyes and see I am in the park once more, and in the distance at the tree line I see... Him. God fucking damn it. He stood tall in the shade with his hands behind him in the classic pose we all know and love. Children played games and ran right past him without noticing. Unsure of what to do I did what I do best. Run as fast as I can. Where am I running? Anywhere he isn't at.
What just happened you may ask? Nothing but pure bullshit. Mindgames yet again. It is pointless and I don't suggest trying to make sense of it, its just fabricated as an attack on my sanity by trying to bring out my insecurities and flaws. I almost didn't post this because how utterly stupid it is, dreams mean nothing and should never be considered otherwise.
I may seem a little grumpy at the subject, its just that dreams usually have significance in stories but here it is just trying to delude me. I can't even give it another thought. Just, please, don't fall for his mindgames, don't pay them any attention, they will intrude your thought pattern and won't go away. This is absolutely vital in maintaining sanity.
I don't like the way I wrote this, but I felt it was the best way to detail what I saw. I usually stick with barebasic detail.
Also, he tries to make the mindgames personal. That's why so many snap after a while.
I feel more confident now, withstanding sanity attacks were easy once I discovered the mindset that they are trying to break me, if I fall to them I lose. I cannot lose, but I have to be careful as hubris can lead to underestimating and taking unneccessary risks. I think I am coping well so far though.
He goes for your sanity first, he doesn't aim to kill at first because he wants to recruit people. If he realizes he can't break you, he'll try to end you. He seems to try to mix it up every week for me.
Need to leave New York soon, I think i've stayed too long.